Well, here's the first installment of my tribute to American presidents. I have real respect for some of these guys, if for no other reason than for what they've been able to get away with. I mean, that Reagan guy, he was a fuckin actor. Anyways. Please don't perceive this as America bashing. Or do, what the fuck do I care?

Those must have been the days. No responsibilities, except putting the ol' pigskin in the endzone. No head-aches like somehow accidentally ending up the president.

Selected by Nixon as Veep as only man thick headed enough to pardon Nixon just in case one of his many crazy burglary schemes went off the rails.

One of those zany Manson family girls took a couple shots at him but somehow managed to miss his monolithic head.

Its the guy in the back there. Yeah, the peanut farmer. Universally hated by Americans for being a pussy. He doesn't help himself by hanging out with totalitarian dictators. The AP censored it, but Carter actually has his hand down Castro's pants.

Put aside the fact he's actually shilling for cigarettes in this ad and just look at his sleazy face. He looks like he just sold you a piece of shit car while feeling up your girlfriend. How can you elect someone to office who is a trained and professional liar by trade? This asshole did monkey movies, and apparently not even very good ones at that. It would be like electing that guy from Friends who was in the Most Valuable Primate movies. Fascinating

This guys existence is responsible for at least 3 extra years of Dana Carvey on SNL, so he's off to a bad start right there. You'd be surprised how hard it is to find a picture of this guy from when he puked on all those japanese businessmen. If anyone sees that one, post it up would ya?

Remember this guy? Man, those were the days. Wars were done with planes, constant jokes about him getting a blowjob, his ever increasing head size, and he caught the guys who bombed the World Trade Center. Well, not him personally. And I think that guy might have been blind, so how hard could it have been to catch him?

A lot of negative stuff has been said about this guy, probably for good reason. I don't think I have anything particularly interesting to add to that discussion. The guy is kinda dumb and a shitty public speaker, I get it.

And anyways, I think he can best be summed up with an anecdote that Hunter S. Thompson told in Rolling Stone. An acquaintance of Thompsons knew Bush at Yale, and said that Bush's favorite joke was a lymerick that went:

"There once was a man named Green
Who invented a jack-off machine
On the twenty-third stroke,
The damn thing broke
And churned his nuts into cream"

He would tell this joke often, in front of people he didn't know.

Second Best Hanging Scene Ever

Last sundays season premiere of The Sopranos had the second best scene of someone getting hung to death, behind only the super creepy hanging scene in The Omen. I'd say the Sopranos scene is the hardest to watch death scene in the whole series, which is saying something for this murder-tastic show. Keep up the good work psychos!